It’s October. Breast Cancer Awareness month. Time for me to get on my soapbox.

A few months ago, I found out the sister of a friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She wanted to talk to me. She wanted to know about my journey. We talked and shared our journeys. At the end she asked me if there was anything I wished I had done differently.

I wish I had read more about breast cancer when I was first diagnosed. I wish I had found someone to reach out to as she had with me so I could have some idea of what to expect. I wish I had joined an online group where I could read about others’ experiences and possibly ask questions. A lot of people don’t want to talk about it, but I notice some celebrities are talking about their diagnoses. It really helped me to know what others have gone through. No two diagnoses are the same, but it helps to hear what others have gone through.

I started out with one hospital and switched to a cancer hospital when I felt I wasn’t being given enough information. I wish I had done that sooner. When you’re diagnosed you immediately go dark. Eventually you realize there is hope and that a positive outlook is very important.

I’m a survivor. I’m here to say don’t forget to schedule that mammogram. If you do self-exams and don’t feel anything you still need a mammogram. If something is found it’s very easy to go to that dark place. Just know that hope is a key emotion to have and it’s okay to talk about your diagnosis.

Again, it’s October. Have you scheduled or had your mammogram?

#breastcancerawareness    #cancersucks    #hope    #pinkribbon    #cancersurvivor

The other day as I was adding new songs to my iPod I realized how much music influences my writing.

Let me stop here to say yes, I still have an iPod that I periodically update with music. If you get into my car, you will be listening to my iPod. I play 60’s, 70’s and 80’s music only. You MIGHT hear a few current songs sprinkled in. I will stream music when necessary; and then, of course, I have my own playlists.

A few years ago, one of my favorite authors, Terry McMillan posted on Twitter, “What are we supposed to do with our iPods, iPod minis, and those other ones that are full of amazing music?” I replied, “I will continue to use my iPod in my car (with 70’s/80’s music) until it is forcefully removed.” She liked my reply! I was so happy that she liked my reply and to know that she also enjoyed music on one of these “ancient” devices.

But I digress. I said in an earlier post that I liked to write in the quiet of the library. Well, I also like to write to music. Along with my iPod I have a “writing CD”. (Yes, I also have music CD’s.) Music just greatly inspires me.

Those poems I wrote back in the day were mostly inspired by the Quiet Storm radio segments late at night. I recorded songs onto cassette tapes and became my own DJ. I have songs that remind me of certain times in my life. A song may inspire me to cry, write or to dance like it’s 1978.

I remember a quote by Hans Christian Anderson that read, “Where words fail, music speaks.” I completely agree. With or without words, music works.

So, excuse me as I gather my music sources and search for songs by Earth Wind and Fire.

Does music inspire you?

#music #inspiration #writing

I haven’t given up on writing in this blog. Life just got in the way. 2023 turned out to be a little draining. A little bit of a lot going on. It wasn’t bad, just a bit much at times. Toward the end of the year I found I needed some peace and isolation.

I’m really trying to focus on me this year. It may sound selfish, but I’ve let things go with myself. I have to make that change this year. It is the year of taking care of me.

Before the holidays the anticipation of what usually happens at that time of the year started to get to me. It’s usually about cooking, presents and yes, family. This year I wasn’t feeling the first two. I wanted to celebrate the reason for the season.

My birthday is right after Thanksgiving and before Christmas. Yes, it was a milestone birthday, but I decided I wanted to spend it alone in the peace and quiet of my own mind. It felt good. I stayed in my house with myself. My children were at work. I received birthday texts and messages, but the day was about me. I was thankful for the time with myself.

When Christmas came around I felt ready to celebrate and I have not felt that way in a few years. It was different for me this year. I wasn’t stressing over buying presents or what to have for Christmas dinner. Thankfully, my children took care of most of dinner. But I saw the reason for the season this year. I don’t know what put me in that mind set, but it was just different.

On my birthday, my son challenged me to try 10 different things this year that I’ve never done before. It can be anything; a food, an activity, a place. I haven’t actually started yet, but my word for this year is CHALLENGE. I will challenge myself. And my motto is “I do a thing called what I want.”

Just remember, you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of you.

This quote has become one of my mottos. After some work on my part I have found my peace of mind, my inner peace. Of course, I have faced attempts to destroy it, but I guard it fearlessly. I honestly try to be calm and not worry about things I cannot control. I take care of business, but with a calmer head. There’s another saying I like, “He who angers you, controls you”.

I’ve also learned that you sometimes just have to say, NO just to keep that peace within yourself. As they say, no is a complete sentence. You have to sometimes step away from everything and take care of you. It’s hard to function when your peace of mind is disturbed. Another saying is, “Put your own oxygen mask on first”.

Guard your peace of mind as you do your joy. Make yourself happy. I don’t want to say yes to someone and regret it later. I use my piece of mind to feed my peace of mind. I intend to become rich with it.

At this point in my life, it’s about me. If I’m not at a peaceful place within myself how can I help anyone else anyway?

Are you protecting your peace?

#peaceofmind  #positivity  #selfcare  #learntosayno  #protectyourpeace  #loveyourself

I recently read a post about a mother whose daughter is talking about moving someplace far away from home. Her daughter says there’s nothing to do in their state and wants a taste of city life. The mom says she selfishly wants her children to live in the same state she does. She knows she’s just feeling some type of way about it now.

I understand how she feels. I have two children who are now grown adults. The oldest, my daughter, also speaks of leaving the city (state) she was born and raised in. She says she doesn’t like it here and has spoken of moving across the country. She has moved out of our family home into her own place, but she’s still close. My son has not spoken of moving out…yet.

Yes, it will hurt. I have done my best to let go of both of them and let them live their own lives. When it came time for both of them to go to college they chose to stay in the state. They wanted to go away, but not too far. When they left, I would go to their rooms and just sit. I knew then that this was the beginning of the test for my empty nest.

I can’t really blame them for wanting to get away. I was born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA. When it came time to go to college, I made it a point to get out of Pennsylvania. I did apply to one school in the state, but once I got accepted to my first choice it was over. I ended up at a college in Atlanta, about 600 miles away.

I really think my mom always figured I’d leave. Maybe she hoped I’d leave for something better. I left and then my sister went north to Boston for college. We both ended up staying in our respective cities to live and my mother built up her travel miles. I know I made the right decision for myself by moving away. It taught me independence and freedom.

I can speak on this now because my children are still close to me. If (or when) either of them decides to move hundreds of miles away I will travel to see them wherever they are, and they know they can always come home. That is what I was supposed to do; prepare them for this transition. I prepared a nest for them before they were born. Now, I’m preparing what I will do with that nest once they move out.

Have your children moved away? How did you handle it?

A few posts ago I wrote about finding my joy. This is a different kind of joy I’m focusing on today. This is the basic joy and happiness of life.

This will be short and sweet. The photo above first captured my attention because it is so pretty; then, I read the words. Don’t let anyone steal your joy today. I will add, or any day.

Your joy and happiness is within yourself. That is where it belongs. No one else has control of it. Keep it safe.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”  Aristotle

This year, I and many of my friends will celebrate 65 evolutions around the sun. We will officially be senior citizens! That brings with it a certain amount of benefits and accolades. The only difference I personally notice are a few more aches and pains, but that I think is to be expected. I’ve used this body, good or bad, for 64 years.

My only problem is when people say, “You don’t look (insert age here).” So, exactly what is 60 something supposed to look like? I’m never going to look 20 again; or 30 or 40. I will claim some wrinkles, but my hair has been greying since I was in my 30’s. For years I chose to color it. I recently had it cut down to the grey. I have done the “big chop” a few times in my life; usually at milestone birthdays. I was a little apprehensive about exposing my grey hair, but I really like it. I’ve earned this grey hair.

I say embrace your age. You have gotten this far by God’s grace. You may have a few aches and health issues, but you’re here. These days the saying that age is just a number is true. So many “senior citizens” are thriving and living more active lives than younger people.

To quote Eartha Kitt, “Aging has a wonderful beauty and we should have respect for that.” Embrace it and be thankful. I am more comfortable with myself now than I ever have been. I can and will do all I can to stay healthy. I’m just trying to take care of myself mentally and physically. My focus is on doing what I want, when I want, with who I want. I lived to please others earlier in my life. Now, my life is about living for me. Giving myself grace to age. Excuse me as I sign up for AARP and Medicare.

How are you approaching aging?

I watched a trailer for the new Barbie movie the other day that has me reminiscing about my childhood. My sister and I loved playing with Barbies. I meant to pluralize that. We had LOTS of them.

I have always been a doll girl. My sister was, too, but she says she liked whatever I liked (till she was about 12). Anyway, we had tall walking dolls, small baby dolls and cloth dolls, but our favorite was Barbie. My first Barbie came with unbendable legs, heavy makeup and a bald head. Of course, she  came with a few wigs and fashionable outfits. My favorite was a tweed look black and white suit.

Over the years we accumulated a good number of Barbies and Barbie sized dolls to add to their family. Original Barbie was joined by Ken, Skipper and other Barbies. We were also able to add a Black family with Christie, Brad and twin Francie dolls. My sister added a Honey West (remember her?) doll and I added Mary Poppins and her charges, Jane and Michael.

If my mom couldn’t put us in day camp during the summer we were at home all day. The rules were stay in the house, don’t open the door. When she did let us go out we had to stay on the porch. We followed those rules to a tee. Just an excuse to play with Barbie. I was always that child my mother had to push out of the door to play outside anyway.

I remember one summer playing Barbie every day, all day till our mom got home from work. We’d wake up in the morning, make our beds and begin to setup our houses. I’m sure at some point breakfast or lunch was involved, but play was the thing.

The beds had to be made up because those were our houses. We used items we found around our house to furnish. A small box or pillow may be a sofa or chair. Books could be tables. We made lamps from empty air freshener containers that were shaped like cylinders. A car could be made from a shoebox. The possibilities were endless. 

I read an article about one of the dolls in the movie. The author called her “Marker Face Barbie”. She represents the Barbie whose hair we cut and makeup we drew on their faces with markers. We also had a few of those. We’d polish their nails with markers and make earrings out of colored pins from our mom’s sewing box. There are only so many times you can stick a pin into a Barbie dolls ears. I’m just saying.

Our times with Barbie and her extended family and friends were so much fun. What was your favorite toy when you were young?